How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
