My room smells like vodka and shame
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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