i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
