maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
