had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I pour the whiskey from now on
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
