yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
