HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
