I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
