It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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