Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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