Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
