My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
