she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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