I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
