Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
