Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
