Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
