i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
im on a boat
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