Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
