you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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