I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Come see our sink grown plant.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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