I puked a lego.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
