awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
