its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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