I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
