dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize