its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
