You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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