I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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