so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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