Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Pooping to opera.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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