Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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