wakey wakey hands off snakey
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
