i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
