Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
