Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
