Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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