dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just cropdusted the office
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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