Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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