I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
