My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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