Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
