dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
