too bad you live with your parents still
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
