the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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