Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
