Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
