Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
