I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
