Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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