Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just took my morning after pill in the library
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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