I love having hate sex.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
