i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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