Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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