Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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