Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
