just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
