Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize