Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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