with your own penis?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize