Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I could fuck to npr.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
