bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
