I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
