the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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