how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize